Greatest GD Chocy chip cookies you'll ever have

World Famous Soft Chocolate Chip Cookies. So fuggin' easy, a 13yr old can do it when you yell from bed, "Make me some damned cookies!" Like 30min later. . .there that little waste of flesh is, bringin' you cookies

Playlist: John Denver, Thank God I'm a country boy, Outkast, the way you move

Ingredients

1 stick of salted butter, room temperature (very important, why don't you listen to me when it comes to butter?)

1⁄2 cup sugar

1⁄4 cup packed light brown sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 egg

1 1⁄2 cups all purpose flour

1⁄2 teaspoon baking soda

1⁄4 teaspoon kosher salt (but I always add a little extra)

1 cup chocolate chips (I use a combination of chocolate chips and chocolate chunks, or sweet/semi sweet)

What yer doin'

Oven to 350 . Did you set your butter out? No, because you're stupid. Now you have to wait.

Using your KitchenAid or electric beaters, (buy a KitchenAid you cheap fuck) beat the butter with both the sugars until smooooooth. I use the paddle with rubber edge. Add the egg & vanilla; beat on low speed until just mixed - 10 seconds or so (if you beat eggs for too long, the cookies will be stiff, and ruined, and I told you so).

Sift in flour, baking soda, and salt (get a sifter while you're getting that paddle). Until it looks like cookie dough minus the chocy chips. . . there's a reason it looks like this. . . . Add the chocolate chips and work them in just a bit. To be honest… I do all this in the KitchenAid, but it is rather hard on it, I don't use my hands except to eat about a pound of the dough *to test it*

Scoop the dough into 12 large hunks (or 8 huge ones if you're doing it right) and slap on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 9-11 minutes until the cookies look poofy the tips just barely start to brown slightly more than blonde. No really, this is important. Watch it closely.

Warning, assholes: DO NOT OVERBAKE. This is probably written on every cookie recipe everywhere, but this is fucking important for the cookies to be soft.

Take them out even if they look like they're not done yet. Blonde cookies are where it's at. If you're doing the 8 HUGE, and you should be, once the cookies are in, crank the heat down to 300° and STARE at them. As soon as you see the slightest showing of the tip turning brown, yank them bad-boys. Eat them while they are still too-hot so you gotta “gaww, haaaa, hash, holla” to cool them in your mouth. Better to have them gooy than overcooked.

Share the 3 that are left after you ate the rest. Set the milk out early for Angel, she likes it kinda warm.

Also, totes eat the dough. You only live once.